SPACE FORCE

AUDIO

KINDLE

PRINT

,

Five years ago, the United States Space Force became a reality. And while those writing the checks took things very seriously, the other military branches did not. As a result, Space Force was populated by undesirables: men and women who made too many mistakes, didn’t follow the rules, or…slept with the wrong general’s daughter. Three times. On camera. It was a mistake, okay?

My name is Captain Ethan Stone, a decorated member of SEAL Team 6 turned Space Force ‘recruit.’ While the powers-that-be attempted to make Space Force an embarrassment, they also sent some of the very best minds, fighters, and pilots to the program, because sometimes the best of us decide to take a stand against those same powers. Yeah, yeah. Not me. Though I seem to recall I was standing when…

Sorry. It’s a distracting memory.

Flash forward five years and between tenses. President West is in office. Power has shifted. And Space Force is defunded. With just a handful of us still living on base, we find ourselves being evicted. But before all of us can leave, aliens invade. Really ugly ones, too. Super nasty. I don’t think I could describe them here without getting the book banned.

Anywho, using their advanced technology, they seal off Space Force Command behind a shrinking force field and kick off a battle royale to the death. Human vs. alien. To the victors goes the Earth. While my boy Frank Taylor and I throw down inside the force field, my main squeeze, First Lieutenant Jennifer Hale, leads an international strike team into freekin’ space. It’s nuts. Crazy action. Super funny, too, in like a Deadpool way, if that’s your thing.

The only way to really know what went down is to snag a copy of this book and read it for yourself…before it’s too late. Or wait for the movie. There is going to be a movie, right?

Hale and I agreed to let ‘bestselling’* author, Jeremy Robinson, tell our tales. He’s not my favorite person in the world, but I think he captured our voices, and the reality of what happened, printing every word we spoke, no matter how offensive, blunt, disgusting, or violent it was. If you’re upset by what you read in this book, first, lighten up, but then, blame me. Jeremy Robinson is a fragile flower. He’s only to blame for hackneyed writing.

*Bestselling is in quotes because the ONLY bestseller status that matters is New York Times. Doesn’t matter if its not a true reflection of actual sales, popularity, or quality. Everyone knows that, Robinson.

FAQ with Jeremy Robinson:

Q: Is this a political novel designed to mock, cajole, and/or slander current political figures?

Jeremy: While there are a small number of gags directed at both sides of the political spectrum, our current president and those under him *shudders* are never mentioned by name and the majority of humor in the book has absolutely nothing to do with politics, which I generally avoid. This is a story about an alien invasion using Space Force as a backdrop. And while I do find the creation of Space Force humorous, I also understand that we’re doing crazy things in space and need to protect them. But Space Force…?

Q: You just said, you don’t mock current political figures, but then shuddered when implying someone was physically beneath the president. Double standard?

Jeremy: Whether you support the president or not, I think we can all agree that no one really wants to be physically beneath him. He’s no Ryan Gosling.

Q: Well…you can’t just not pick a side! You’re either with us or against us! If you don’t answer this question, how will the left or right know whether or not to boycott you?!

Jeremy: Over the past 60+ novels I’ve written, I have been accused of being a right wing nut job who wants to send the world to hell, and a left wing psycho who dances in a rainbow thong at Burning Man. Okay, those are slight exaggerations, but seriously, people find politics in my books when there are none, often times telling me I believe the opposite of what I actually believe. I tell stories with characters who have their own thoughts, dreams, and beliefs. The good guys don’t always agree with me, or you.

Take Ethan Stone, for example. He’s funny, and entertaining, but also kind of a dick. I enjoy his presence for about thirty minutes, and then he starts to grate on me. Mostly because that’s about how long he can hold back his writing digs. Anywho, Stone is a good example of a main character who is almost nothing like me. At the same time, remember, he’s a totally real person. Everything in this book actually happened (just work with me on this) so if you get upset by what he says and does, or by anyone else in this book, or by the revolting aliens I totally didn’t make up, just blame him, or the president. No need to boycott anyone…or take anything in this novel—I mean, in this non-fictional retelling of actual events—seriously.

Q: What is “All your base are belong to us?” Is that some kind of secret message from QAnon?

Jeremy: It is a hint to gamers that this book isn’t just inspired by totally real events regarding Space Force. It’s also inspired by gaming in general—primarily battle royale gaming, which has become popular over the past year with games like PUBG, Fortnite, and Realm Royale. If you want to see the meme origin of the phrase, here’s the video:

Q: Seriously though, this is just a book designed to make right wing people frothing angry right? You’re trying to capitalize on the anti-Trump movement. We know it! Just admit it!

Jeremy: Actually, I’m trying to bring a little levity to the subject, which is definitely needed, again, on both sides. Everyone needs to lighten up, and I think if you have a sense of humor, you’ll find the funny and action-packed story that is Space Force enjoyable. Whether you’re sleeping with an inflatable pillow shaped like the president (with alpaca fur for hair…so soft…) or wearing a pink knit hat that looks like chewed bubble gum, I’m sure I’ll manage to offend both sides. Crap. I mean, not offend. Not.

Though I am guaranteed to offend people who don’t like coarse language, rude gestures, nudity, and extremely graphic descriptions of things no one should witness. I’m also guaranteed to offend Canadians.

4 Comments

  1. I met Captain Ethan Stone at a high-class mixer once. He didn’t fit in because he is not high class and he IS a dick. But he’s also an American hero…So there’s that.

    • JRobinson

      December 17, 2018 at 4:03 pm

      Right?! A funny dick…which is just a weird thing to say. But when you’re fighting Chote, I guess that’s who you need. Fire with fire and all that. 🙂

  2. Just curious… when you were typing this book, did you use more pressure than normal on the space key of your computer? There would be no way I simply could resist after every word being typed out, hammering the space bar and yelling aloud, “space force!”

    • JRobinson

      December 17, 2018 at 4:00 pm

      Lol. Probably. I was laughing a lot when I wrote it and wondering if people would ever take me seriously again. 🙂

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